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Making her special day unforgettable

There is no stressing out for you this year on her birthday.  You are all set to reward your girlfriend with a real gift, straight from your heart, that she will treasure.  Let’s just check what you’ve got here … chocolates, check.  Roses, check.  Hallmark card, check.  Creativity … strangely missing from this gift.

Ask any woman and she’ll tell you:  the more thought went into a present from you, the more she will appreciate the gift – and you.

Here are some tips for making your girlfriend or wife very happy on her birthday, Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, and any day!

Anything domestic is out …

Unless she specifically asks you for it.  If she really wants a vacuum for her birthday, she’ll let you know.  Otherwise, cooking implements, appliances, cleaning aids and anything else that could possibly be even remotely construed as “domestic” may be viewed as an insult.  It’s like her buying you a bucket of paint so you can get going on the garage-painting project you have planned.  Steer clear of these items.

There are exceptions, however.  If she is in charge of doing the dishes, and she’s not too fond of it, and you buy her a dishwasher, you could qualify as a hero.  If you mostly do the dishes and you buy a dishwasher for her … you know where this is going.

Attention is crucial

Every woman wants to feel like her man has been paying attention to her.  The best way to do this is to make mental notes of the things she mentions that she wants.  Not what she mentions she needs.  This is an important distinction.  You don’t want the following exchange to happen:

Woman (in disbelief): Oh great … they’re …  really nice.

Man (enthusiastically): Yeah, you said you needed them a couple of months ago and I remembered. Happy birthday!

Woman (sighs):  Yeah, socks are a wonderful birthday present for me. I needed them.  Thanks.  A lot.

And unless you are completely sure of her size and taste in clothes and especially underwear, buy her a gift certificate to her favorite store or take her shopping with you.  Otherwise it could go like this:

Man (happily): Happy Valentine’s Day! I thought this would be romantic.

Woman (sarcastically): Oh yeah, I can’t wait to put this garter belt and see-through red bra on.  How romantic for me.  Oh look!  You bought me a size 40 DD bra.  Were you thinking at all, I mean, besides wishful thinking??

Take her on a little trip to Victoria’s Secret to pick out some lingerie together, however, and she’ll respond a whole lot better.

Creativity is key

There is nothing better than a gift that includes something creative from you.  It seems like a cliché, but a birthday poem or card that you crafted yourself will be greatly appreciated by her.  Even if you write a silly limerick or nursery rhyme or make a card out of construction paper and draw a caricature of her (as long as she looks thin), she will be touched by your effort.

And if you make something for her you’ll be even more popular.  Framing a picture of you and her together, or her and her best friend or family is good, giving her a massage is better, cooking her dinner is even better, and drawing her a bubble bath and reading love poems by candlelight that you wrote to her as she soaks is the best.  Okay, she’s really not expecting that last one.  But doing something unexpected is one way to really make her feel special.

The thrill of the unexpected

There’s really nothing wrong with chocolates and roses.  She’ll be pleased by a traditional gift.  But if you really want to blow her mind, give her something completely unexpected. 

If you haven’t been away for the weekend in months, plan a surprise getaway.  Even if you are only going to a nice hotel overnight in the next town over, she will appreciate the planning and thought that you put into your little escape.  Make sure that you make all the plans for child or pet care during your trip.  She will appreciate not having to worry about everything, which will make her feel blissfully pampered.  You can even make it a tradition, and do it every year on her birthday or your anniversary, but surprise her each year with a different destination.

If she loves the opera and you would rather watch paint dry, you know what to do.  Buy her and her best friend tickets, of course!  She’ll love the surprise and appreciate that she won’t have to nudge you every time you start snoring during the show.

Old standbys that work

You gave her a gift certificate for a spa treatment last year?  That’s perfectly fine, she’ll take another one this year.  Pampering is the ultimate luxury, and luxury is perfect for her special day.

Look through her toiletries.  Is her favorite perfume low?  Buy her another bottle.  She will probably never spend her own money on perfume – she sees it as a luxury.  Buy the powder and body wash that goes with it too.  She’ll love it.

Jewelry is another luxury item she probably won’t spend a lot of money on. You don’t need to buy her a gigantic rock – handcrafted unique pieces of jewelry are more creative and thoughtful.  Find out what her birthstone is – most birthstones are semi-precious gems and less expensive.  Or take her shopping with you.  

Money is not an issue

Above all else, don’t try to impress her with money.  It’s far too transparent.  An expensive piece of jewelry will seem like nothing compared to a picnic that you planned and prepared for the two of you.

If you think you spent too much, you probably did.  Instead, write down what you feel about her and tape it to the mirror in the bathroom so she’ll see it the morning of her birthday.  She will never forget it.

Karleen Kozaczka is a freelance writer who actually looks forward to the challenges of holiday gift giving every year.  She is also interested in buying jewelry.

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